No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
