hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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