Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
