So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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