It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
