The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
