Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
