How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Its about making memories worth repressing
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's always time for handjobs
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
