is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
