they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Drunk is not a location!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
