I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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