So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
