ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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