I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
