she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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