his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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