I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
