Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
