Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
