i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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