so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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