i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
