In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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