Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The uberlube is also flammable
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
