even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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