I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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