You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This is not my ceiling
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
