He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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