we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
