Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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