so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
