someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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