wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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