**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
