An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
