no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Fuck appropriateness.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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