So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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