I am in a vortex of obligation.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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