I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Text me some of your sweat
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