The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
