If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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