he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
