Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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