i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
