how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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