We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
