i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
