If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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