How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
