I look better un-naked...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
