U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
