walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just pee around me
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
